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Hello there, I am a female college student with just two questions to ask: Why do men in college always just want sex? And, how can I get one to commit to me? I’ve been hanging out with this guy on and off (hanging out meaning hooking up, but also having nice conversations before and after). I really like him, and he seems to like me too, but I just can’t get him to date me officially. Everyone knows that we’re together, we talk all the time, and we hang out at least twice a week. What does a girl have to do to get a boyfriend around here? Any advice would be welcome. I have exhausted my friends and family to no avail. I’ve even asked his friends once or twice when I was drunk enough. I must still be doing something wrong so please tell me what it is. I understand that college boys are aloof and uncommitted to a fault, but there has got to be something else that I can do. Right?
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Sxlxc37 answered

Hi creamia11,
I'm sorry to hear you are some mixed feelings from your situation. You may need to just step back and look through the window. Why do any of us go to college? I know why I went to college... To become a successful adult, didn't you? Maybe this young man is more involved in his studies, than distractions. At the same time, I think the saying goes "A little dumb and full of c_m!" Which is totally normal at that age. There could be a variety of reasons he hasn't expressed more interest. *Examples* differences in your and his schedules, fear of failure (academically, or relationship wise), or maybe just not wanting additional responsibility by serious dating... If your looking for answers like, he must be sleeping with multiple women, or he thinks your unattractive, then maybe you could be facing some insecurity issues? The best way to find out what "HE" is thinking or feeling is by asking him. If he isn't giving you an answer that you can deal with, or no answer at all...then its up to you to decide if you you want to keep doing what your doing or, if you still want him at all. My opinion is that you're in college, a time to learn and expand your horizons! Why are you wanting to settle down? Live day to day and focus on your studies. Then on your free time maybe you should give some other guys a chance to make you happy!! YOLO YOUNG LADY!!!

BikiniTigre
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BikiniTigre answered Expert answer - Find more experts: click here!

Creamia11,

I believe you have fallen into a trap with this fellow, and you need to wiggle your way out. If he is eager to have sex with you, but will not commit to a relationship, and you want to have more than just sex with him, you need to finish with him.

A lot of people have gotten themselves into similar situations. Some people find that, when really pressed, their guy (or girl) will agree to be in a relationship. Whether this is good or not is debatable. I actually had a friend who was in a setup just like yours. The guy was always willing to have sex, and sometimes even hang out, but he would never really Define The Relationship. He just wanted to, “keep it casual.” Long story short, she badgered him into a relationship, and he cheated on her. He just wasn’t ready.

Maybe your guy just isn’t ready to commit. Maybe he’s really not that into you. Or maybe he just doesn’t know what he wants, and you’re going to have to give him a nudge to figure it out. Either way, you need to figure out if you’re willing to keep things the way they are to wait for him. If you are, you’re a more patient person than I am. If not, give him his walking papers. A man who really wants to be with you will be willing to tell you and anyone else who asks.

Good luck, Creamia11, and stay strong. Expert answer - Find more experts: click here!

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