Dear Anxious Mother- and Father-to-Be:
My condolences on the loss of your twins. The death of a child, whether before or after birth, is a tragedy that no parent should have to suffer, but many suffer every day. Have you and your husband found an outlet for your grief? It is possible that your body is simply reluctant to lose another child again so soon, and you still need time to heal emotionally. Consider joining a support group for parents of lost children.
For the couple who try desperately to have a child, but are not successful, the waiting is the worst part. It causes stress, anxiety, tension, and depression, all of which on top of your previous loss can actually sabotage your efforts to become pregnant. Often couples who are NOT trying have more success, because they are enjoying the process more. Try to loosen up, forget about ovulation days and conception techniques, and just have a little fun. Remember why you and your husband got married to begin with, and try to revive that passion.
Have you been to your doctor to be tested for any genetic abnormalities that may reduce your likelihood to conceive and carry a child to term? If you haven’t, this needs to be your first step. If you have, and nothing showed up on the tests, did you discuss other options with your doctor, such as fertility treatments and surrogacy? If those options are out of the question for moral, financial, or religious reasons, have you considered adoption? It may be that your lack of success is Fate’s way of telling you that the child for you is already out there waiting.
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